CHILD If you have to choose If you really have to choose? Who will it be? The bear with one eye? The monkey with the (green and) yellow tie? Would it be the Cat in the Hat? Or would it be Nemo the fish? WOMAN We stood waiting, by the gate, A bag in each hand - Two bags, that’s what he told us that’s what the man told us before Just two small bags, no more; That’s all, he said. So I’m waiting, by the gate, Two small bags, and ten million dreams Some clothes, food for the journey, and something to drink Wrapped up in plastic, Enough for a few days, I think. MAN We left at night, or was it morning? It was dark, anyhow. Anyhow, it was dark. WOMAN The child stands there, waiting. Next to the bag in my hand. She waits. She’s looking at me, trying to catch my eye. I don’t look back, I don’t feel like answering questions. She looks away, at the road Stares straight ahead, not saying a word. MAN Before sunrise, he said, He said it would be before sunrise. Any minute now, The sun will come up, now the day will begin? WOMAN Then she says, where are we going? You don’t reply. She says, where are we going? You don’t reply. She falls silent, feels betrayed Already small, and now betrayed. How many more bends are left in the road Before the truck passes by, On the long drive to the harbour. MAN The hum of diesel, faint at first, then stronger, I hear him coming over the berm, If she cries now, I’ll hold her throat till she’s quiet. WOMAN We watch him slowly lumber into view Sputtering and staggering up the hill, Brakes squeak, as if the truck itself is weak Reluctant to go any further. Just like us. A man gets out, A door slams, The motor is left running A door slams, The motor is left running, in the night. Running! MAN We run, leap on board It’s an effort with the child, an effort, The child... it’s the child. WOMAN And then we’re crawling on our hands and knees Along an endless corridor of boxes Walls of boxes, till we reach the end, A space, two by two For three of us. Two by two For seven days at least The child is grinning, she’s excited. With two small bags And ten million dreams! CHILD Mustn’t cry, mustn’t laugh Mustn’t cough, mustn’t sneeze Mustn’t wheeze, Mustn’t sulk, mustn’t blink, mustn’t think. No thinking, no blinking, no seeing, no being, Being nothing, nearly, really It’s a game, just a game, Those are just the rules. WOMAN Mustn’t cry, mustn’t laugh Mustn’t cough, mustn’t sneeze Mustn’t wheeze Mustn’t sulk, mustn’t blink, mustn’t think No thinking, no blinking, no seeing, no being, Being nothing, nearly, really It’s a game, just a game, Those are just the rules. And if we keep to the rules, Follow and keep still We’ll be OK, we will. What do we get if we win this game, what’s the prize? I say, our lives. MAN When I bang on the wall, he says, complete silence. The checkpoint, complete silence. That’s what he says, and that’s how we cross the border We cross over the border, in complete silence. CHILD It’s not an easy question, but If you have to choose If you really have to choose? Who will it be? The bear with one eye? The monkey with the Yellow tie Would it be the Cat with the Hat Or would it be Nemo the fish? MAN Hurry up and choose. CHILD I can’t, it’s too hard My head hurts I can’t choose. MAN We know. Now hurry up and choose. MAN The price of freedom is impossibly high An arm or a leg, or six thousand Euro. When we arrive, things will be fine Everything is possible and different. WOMAN It’s dark. It’s bumpy. My body shudders, judders, His heart thumps against his chest The quieter we are the more it thumps. It’s cold. It’s night. We piss in corners, like livestock, We’re dirty, disgusting, what are we, Filthy and dirty, shite, what are we, the smell, If there is a hell, this is what it might be like. CHILD This is the night my mother spoke of, Night of endless hours, Night going on for days, And this is the sound my mother spoke of, The sound of another time, The dull sound of another time. CHILD It’s not an easy question, but If you have to choose If you really have to choose? Who will it be? The bear with one eye? The monkey with the green and yellow tie? Could it be the Cat in the Hat Or could it be Nemo? Why do I have to choose? Why not take them all? WOMAN There’s no room for them all. And besides – MAN Where we’re going, WOMAN He looks at me. MAN Where we’re going to, WOMAN They have all kinds of bears, Bears of all kinds, More than you can imagine. CHILD Nemo, I say. Because Nemo always finds the way. It’s difficult to choose. Don’t worry kid, says the bear, I understand. And anyway, I like it here. The monkey ignores me, Looks away with an angry stare Like a mule or a stubborn donkey, stubborn monkey. I pretend not to care but my heart breaks. WOMAN Final answer? Going, going, gone. Sold, to the fish with the stripey clown-face. MAN There we are then. Nemo always finds the way. Nemo comes. The others stay. MAN The smell in here. And the cold. My wife whispers under her breath. If God is everywhere, why not in here In one of these boxes? WOMAN The cold, the dark, the smell. The smell. His breath is uneven, he gets panic attacks He swallows, he moans, he coughs Swears, sighs, cries Thinks, blinks, breaks every rule Smacks the wall of the truck with his fists The icy truck wall just resists. CHILD Until finally, it is still. Father lies draped across mother His chest no longer heaving She no longer weeping I can still hear my breath Quiet in the dark night Nemo has gills, he’ll be OK Nemo always finds a way. Just me and Nemo We’re awake and waiting I’m waiting with Nemo I’m waiting with Nemo When will it be morning? When will the sun rise and the day begin? Will anyone find Nemo? Is anyone even looking for him? I’m waiting With two small bags and ten million dreams! Copyright Michael de Cock - Published for Artists #withRefugees – 20 June 2016 – World Refugee Day – www.brusselsjazzorchestra.com